I arrive in Johannesburg at 7:30am on September 8, 2011. But let's rewind.
I get to the South African Airways check-in in London Heathrow with plenty of time to spare only to receive a grand surprise: Sir, that will be 700 GBP (approx $1000 CDN) for your second piece of luggage. Excuse me? It turns out that the policy on their website (which I had looked up earlier in the day) is an "archived website" and many people have made the same "mistake". I try charm ("Please, would it be possible to just make this one exception?). I try getting all lawyer up in there ("Listen, this is a very clear case of negligent misrepresentation and if I took this to Court, I would win.") I try crying... no, I didn't try crying... but maybe I should have... shoot, why didn't I try crying?! In the end, I sent my bag with an independent baggage delivery service for 180 GBP (still expensive) and it will take 10 days for it to arrive.
At this point, I am severely irritated, but it's all good because the guy at check-in tells me I've got four seats on the plane all to myself, a much-needed luxury on an 11 hour flight. I step onto the plane and am horrified by two things. One: There are no personal televisions. Two: An intruder has invaded one of my four seats. His name is Tom. He likes kangaroo meat, red wine and prostitutes. Nice to meet you Tom. My name is Joseph. I like kibbe and taboule, mango smoothies and university degrees. Now would you kindly remove yourself from the fourth seat in my four-seater?
After a mostly sleepless flight (snoring Tom stretched out on three seats), I touch down in Johannesburg and experience my first taste of local culture. The customs officer gives me a "business" card and tells me that if there's anything I need (pinky finger to nostril motion) I should call him. He has a gold tooth. My driver is 50 minutes late (second taste of local culture), but he does arrive and off we go.
As we leave the city and enter the suburbs, I notice that there are very high walls topped with electric barbed wire everywhere. I had been told to expect this, but it's still a bit surprising to see. We arrive at the B&B and it's very charming. Auberge le Fleur. It's a 100-year-old home owned by a retired South African couple (they haven't been there for 100 years, I don't think). My room is massive. It's actually two rooms: a living/dining room and a kitchen/bedroom. My front door leads out to a carefully manicured garden and the back door leads to an outdoor patio area and swimming pool. The owners - Leonie and Willie - help me get settled and offer to drop me off around the corner where there's some shopping. I find myself alone in Johannesburg. When I first told people I was going to Johannesburg, the reactions were more or less the same:
- "But isn't that place dangerous?"
-- Well, it can be, but you just have to exercise certain preca...
- "That has the highest crime rate in the world, doesn't it?"
-- I'm not exactly sure, but as long as you stay...
- "Please don't get killed."
-- Thanks?
I am happy to report that I survived my first solo excursion in Joburg. I got some food, walked in and around some shops and even ... are you ready? ... took out money from an ATM *gasp*. All without incident. Imagine. So, feeling good about not being dead, I make my way back to the B&B (a 10 minute walk) and arrive at the front gate. I hear some buzzing. So I start ducking and swatting (for bees). But the buzzing doesn't stop! So I duck deeper and swat harder!!! Eventually, I follow the buzzing sound to the electric barbed wire atop the giant concrete fence. The electric fences buzz.
After learning a bit of Afrikaans and Zulu, watching some television that I didn't understand (hence me learning Afrikaans and Zulu), Skyping with mom and dad, and making a plan for apartment hunting over the next couple of days, I settle into bed, excited about tomorrow. I've got a great feeling about this city. I leave you with some basic information about fair Joburg.
****************
JOHANNESBURG (a.k.a. Jozi or Jo'burg), Gauteng Province, South Africa
Population: 7 million (one of the 40 largest metropolitan areas on the world and the largest city not situated on a river/lake/coastline)
Claims to Fame: Lightning Capital of the World; Constitutional Court of South Africa; Gold and Diamond Trade; Busiest Airport in Africa (O.R. Tambo International Airport)
A (very brief) HISTORY OF SOUTH AFRICA
500 - West Africans begin to settle in South Africa and establish tribes
1487 - Portuguese explorers arrive in South Africa but take little interest
1647 - Dutch vessel is wrecked near what is now Cape Town and the Dutch East India Company soon establishes a permanent settlement
1814 - Dutch relinquish sovereignty of the Cape to the British
1869 - Diamonds are discovered
1880 - First Anglo-Boer War begins (Anglo = British; Boer = Dutch)
1886 - Gold is discovered in the hills of the Witwatersrand (in Johannesburg). Thousands flock to the area quickly making Johannesburg the hub of sub-Saharan Africa.
1902 - Second Anglo-Boer War ends
1902-1960s - Apartheid (segregation) between Blacks and Whites builds
1960s-1994 - Full-blown Apartheid sees decades of intense racism in South Africa
1994 - Apartheid ends and Nelson Mandela is elected President in South Africa's first democratic elections
2011 - Joseph arrives in Joburg
I get to the South African Airways check-in in London Heathrow with plenty of time to spare only to receive a grand surprise: Sir, that will be 700 GBP (approx $1000 CDN) for your second piece of luggage. Excuse me? It turns out that the policy on their website (which I had looked up earlier in the day) is an "archived website" and many people have made the same "mistake". I try charm ("Please, would it be possible to just make this one exception?). I try getting all lawyer up in there ("Listen, this is a very clear case of negligent misrepresentation and if I took this to Court, I would win.") I try crying... no, I didn't try crying... but maybe I should have... shoot, why didn't I try crying?! In the end, I sent my bag with an independent baggage delivery service for 180 GBP (still expensive) and it will take 10 days for it to arrive.
At this point, I am severely irritated, but it's all good because the guy at check-in tells me I've got four seats on the plane all to myself, a much-needed luxury on an 11 hour flight. I step onto the plane and am horrified by two things. One: There are no personal televisions. Two: An intruder has invaded one of my four seats. His name is Tom. He likes kangaroo meat, red wine and prostitutes. Nice to meet you Tom. My name is Joseph. I like kibbe and taboule, mango smoothies and university degrees. Now would you kindly remove yourself from the fourth seat in my four-seater?
After a mostly sleepless flight (snoring Tom stretched out on three seats), I touch down in Johannesburg and experience my first taste of local culture. The customs officer gives me a "business" card and tells me that if there's anything I need (pinky finger to nostril motion) I should call him. He has a gold tooth. My driver is 50 minutes late (second taste of local culture), but he does arrive and off we go.
As we leave the city and enter the suburbs, I notice that there are very high walls topped with electric barbed wire everywhere. I had been told to expect this, but it's still a bit surprising to see. We arrive at the B&B and it's very charming. Auberge le Fleur. It's a 100-year-old home owned by a retired South African couple (they haven't been there for 100 years, I don't think). My room is massive. It's actually two rooms: a living/dining room and a kitchen/bedroom. My front door leads out to a carefully manicured garden and the back door leads to an outdoor patio area and swimming pool. The owners - Leonie and Willie - help me get settled and offer to drop me off around the corner where there's some shopping. I find myself alone in Johannesburg. When I first told people I was going to Johannesburg, the reactions were more or less the same:
- "But isn't that place dangerous?"
-- Well, it can be, but you just have to exercise certain preca...
- "That has the highest crime rate in the world, doesn't it?"
-- I'm not exactly sure, but as long as you stay...
- "Please don't get killed."
-- Thanks?
I am happy to report that I survived my first solo excursion in Joburg. I got some food, walked in and around some shops and even ... are you ready? ... took out money from an ATM *gasp*. All without incident. Imagine. So, feeling good about not being dead, I make my way back to the B&B (a 10 minute walk) and arrive at the front gate. I hear some buzzing. So I start ducking and swatting (for bees). But the buzzing doesn't stop! So I duck deeper and swat harder!!! Eventually, I follow the buzzing sound to the electric barbed wire atop the giant concrete fence. The electric fences buzz.
After learning a bit of Afrikaans and Zulu, watching some television that I didn't understand (hence me learning Afrikaans and Zulu), Skyping with mom and dad, and making a plan for apartment hunting over the next couple of days, I settle into bed, excited about tomorrow. I've got a great feeling about this city. I leave you with some basic information about fair Joburg.
****************
JOHANNESBURG (a.k.a. Jozi or Jo'burg), Gauteng Province, South Africa
Population: 7 million (one of the 40 largest metropolitan areas on the world and the largest city not situated on a river/lake/coastline)
Claims to Fame: Lightning Capital of the World; Constitutional Court of South Africa; Gold and Diamond Trade; Busiest Airport in Africa (O.R. Tambo International Airport)
A (very brief) HISTORY OF SOUTH AFRICA
500 - West Africans begin to settle in South Africa and establish tribes
1487 - Portuguese explorers arrive in South Africa but take little interest
1647 - Dutch vessel is wrecked near what is now Cape Town and the Dutch East India Company soon establishes a permanent settlement
1814 - Dutch relinquish sovereignty of the Cape to the British
1869 - Diamonds are discovered
1880 - First Anglo-Boer War begins (Anglo = British; Boer = Dutch)
1886 - Gold is discovered in the hills of the Witwatersrand (in Johannesburg). Thousands flock to the area quickly making Johannesburg the hub of sub-Saharan Africa.
1902 - Second Anglo-Boer War ends
1902-1960s - Apartheid (segregation) between Blacks and Whites builds
1960s-1994 - Full-blown Apartheid sees decades of intense racism in South Africa
1994 - Apartheid ends and Nelson Mandela is elected President in South Africa's first democratic elections
2011 - Joseph arrives in Joburg
Happy to hear that you arrived safe and sound and survived both pubs with bras on the ceiling, The Storm, Tom and your first solo excursion is Jo'burg.
ReplyDeleteOnly please, make sure you don't try to whiz on the electric fence. :p